Foundational Relationship Roles

You would think that after twenty-eight and a half years of marriage I would have gotten this relationship thing down pat and I’d know exactly what to do at exactly the right time and Wendy would respond in exactly the way I expect. The problem with that theory is that we are both growing and changing.  So the adventure continues.

We are, however, getting better and better at working through the changes.  That’s happening, in part, because as I look deeper into scripture I’m coming to a better understanding of the roles God created male and female for. (I think Wendy has always innately had a better grasp of that.)  I see two foundational roles in God’s design and I’ve put these roles in the form of questions.

Before I list those, let me say that the ways in which these roles are expressed are innumerable and will differ from person to person.  These roles do not pigeon hole a man or a woman to say you have to be this or you can’t be that.  By foundational I mean the prime purpose of human beings, relating to God and relating to each other as male and female.  This purpose is true in all of relating, but it’s most clearly expressed in the husband/wife relationship.

When our boys were younger and they’d tell us about a girl they had begun to develop an interest in the question I came to ask was “Does she inspire you to follow and love Jesus more or does she distract you from him?”  In other words does her lifestyle, her conversation, and the way in which she expresses interest in you inspire within you a greater passion for Jesus?

If we’d had girls I would have asked them this: “Does the way this guy treats you heighten your awareness of how much God loves you, or does it mostly focus you on the guy?”  In other words does he draw your attention to God in what he says, his integrity, and in how he puts your best interests ahead of his own?

God’s beautiful design is that as each relationship is deepened, our relationship to God and our relationship with our spouse, it deepens and strengthens the other.  The better my relationship is with God the better I’ll relate to my wife, and the better my relationship with my wife the better I’ll know God.

I would not be the man I am without Wendy daily inspiring me to pursue God more passionately.  Thank you my darling, I love you more than ever.  Let the adventure continue…

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About David Berg

I live in a small town in Alberta, Canada. I pastor a small Baptist church and also work half-time on a local seed farm. It has been more than 25 years that I have been married to a most amazing and beautiful lady whose name is Wendy. Together we have three boys, and two beautiful daughter-in-laws. View all posts by David Berg

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