I am feeling restless this morning. The sun is shining and it’s another beautiful Central Alberta day and I want to get out but I have a deadline looming for this article. I already began writting this once on an excellent topic that I’m sure one day will turn into a brilliant article, but I’m restless because I don’t want to have to do this right now. Over the last months I have actually come to enjoy writing these things, which is a minor miracle in itself, just not right now. As I pace in front of the window, feeling the gloriously warm sunshine beaming through, I shout out loud to the empty house, “Aargh! I want to be free!”
In the echoing stillness of the moment following my vent, a profound spiritual awareness settles on me like a weight. Humbled by the gentle hand of God I speak back to him the truth; “No I don’t. I want to be bound.”
Why? “Because Christ’s love compels me. Because I am convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.” (If I may personalize 2 Corinthians 5:14-15) I like the way Eugene Petersen paraphrases Matthew 16:24. Jesus is speaking and says “Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat; I am. Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self.” Therefore I willingly, joyfully relinquish all rights to myself and abandon myself to Christ in order that he may live his life through me. (See Galatians 2:20)
Please don’t think that by this I am somehow super-spiritual or anything particularly special. Even my restlessness this morning is evidence of my natural self centeredness. And believe me that is just the tip of the iceberg of my self-pleasing nature. But I have begun to know and experience the person of Jesus Christ; his nature, character, and personality and that compels me to say no to being self-serving and yes to being God serving.
So I come back and sit down at the computer and begin again to type “I am feeling restless this morning . . .”


About David Berg

I live in a small town in Alberta, Canada. I pastor a small Baptist church and also work half-time on a local seed farm. It has been more than 25 years that I have been married to a most amazing and beautiful lady whose name is Wendy. Together we have three boys, and two beautiful daughter-in-laws. View all posts by David Berg

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